Mistletoe Mischeif
by MarauderMischeif
Summary: The Marauders plan a payback prank.. But really the prank's on them.
1. The plotting begins

Soft, hazy light drifted through the cracks between the curtains that covered the  
windows. The divination tower was stifling hot; the thought of cooking eggs and bacon on top of the students textbooks sounded more appropriate than staring at boring, motionless crystal balls. But then again, since when was divination interesting?

Remus shifted in his seat, but comfort had left him ages ago. His elbows rested on the hard wood of the circular table in front of him, on which lay a crystal ball. White mist swirled through it's inside, it's only visible content. No funny signs, no readings..

Just..

Fog..

Beside him, Peter muttered something. Not that it meant anything, of course- he had fallen asleep over twenty minutes ago. His head rest on his arms, the only sign that he wasn't paying attention being the fact that his eyes were closed.  
Sirius had fallen asleep first. Followed by Arthur, then Malfoy and then Peter.

The only thing that kept James awake was the back of Lily's head.

Again Remus turned his attention towards the crystal ball. Nothing. Just swirling..

Floating..

He jolted upright, a whisper in his ear pulling him into full awareness. That didn't sound like Peter.. Remus looked at the clock. He had only slept five minutes, but what had awoken him?

The crystal ball caught his eye. The room around him seemed to dull so he could listen. Whispers drifted from the ball, inaudible and hushed. A flicker of movement, what looked like a flash of gold.

What was he seeing? Maybe he was still asleep. Or...

Remus leaned closer, straining to see through the fog. He felt as though he were gazing into the depths of a lake, or to the bottom of a pit. Finally, a shape appeared. James stood with his back to Remus, looking disappointedly and angrily at him over his shoulder. The other Marauder shook his head and turned away.

The image rippled like a pool of water and changed.

Students gave Remus that same look through the surface of the crystal ball, glares and surprised anger, as though he had done something terrible no time could fix..  
He frowned as another picture entered. People dancing, cheering, laughing.. A loud screeching voice overtop..

Lily stood in front of him, looking around uneasily. She looked at Remus, bit her lip with a wry smile, and leaned forwards-

"Moony! You alright?" A hand nudged him, though the touch was dull as if his arm no longer worked. The intense heat from the crystal ball left him, leaving him cold and shaking. The images vanished, white swirling mist taking over.

"Moony?" Sirius asked again, pushing a book into his bag yet keeping his eyes on Remus. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing," he stuttered, tongue loosening slightly. _What was that?_

"Until our next class!" called the teacher, clapping her hands together. Remus stood, slinging his bag over his shoulder and making his way towards the silver ladder. Sliding down the ladder and walking down the corridor, he shook his head to rid of the images he had seen. Nothing worked. Obviously.

What was with James?.. He looked so fallen, as though the world was crashing around him.

Before long Remus found himself standing on the long bridge from the castle to the grounds, soft lights lit along the small wooden roof above his head. The sun was sinking quickly, vanishing behind the mountains, leaving only a red-yellow reflection on the frozen lake. It was beautiful alright, but it still didn't distract him.

With a sigh he dropped his bag beside him and leaned onto the railing, ignoring the soggy snow that soaked onto his sleeve.

He jumped slightly as someone entered his vision.

Lily stood a few feet away, hands clasped in front of her. Her hair shone brilliantly in the dim light, like the sun on the horizon. Her loving green eyes glimmered, close to tears.

"I know what you saw, Remus," she said quietly. She stepped forwards and stood beside Remus by the railing, looking out onto the grounds.

It took a moment to find his voice. "Y-you saw.. In-"

"In my crystal ball too, yes." She sighed and took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "I don't know how.. But.." Her voice trailed off. "..It was strange, wasn't it? I mean, I saw what you saw.. But I saw you, not myself."

Remus watched her from the corner of his eye. Did she really see it, or was she playing tricks with him?

_You're talking about Lily. Not Sirius._

"Do you think it's going to happen then?" he said finally, looking out towards the sunset.

Lily brushed a finger along her eyelid and sniffed. "Do I think it'll happen? I pay no matter to what I think, but whether it does or doesn't happen. I find it more useful. What about you? What does your heart tell you?"

Remus bit his lip. "Of cour-"

"What does your heart tell you?"

"..It tells me nothing."

They looked at one another.

"See you later!" they both chorused quickly, walking off in opposite directions. Only after Lily had entered the castle did Remus follow, keeping a great amount of space between them.

------

"Potter! Black! Do try to pay attention."

"Begging your pardon Professor McGonagall, but we were."

"And I assume that is why your frog, rather than roaring, is swelling like a balloon, Mr. Black?"

"Er.. Why, yes. That was my intention in the first place."

McGonagall peered down at Sirius, ignoring the frogs' croaking protests as it floated into the air. From beside Sirius, James tucked a piece of parchment into his sleeve, away from the prying eyes of their Transfiguration teacher.

"Mr. Black," she continued, "you are only one strike away from detention; you are a constant disruption to my class, yet your grades remain the same pitiful mark. If you do not pick up your act soon, I will have no choice but to teach you in your spare time."

"I have no spare time," Sirius said with the most innocent expression he could muster. "I'm constantly busy. There are unfortunate children to help, strugglers to assist. Slytherins to be pranked."

"Well then, I'm sure the unfortunate children, strugglers and Slytherins will have to cope another way. One more warning, Black, and you are working with me after class. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am!" Sirius yelled with a stiff salute. Classmates around him giggled.  
With a disapproving glare, McGonagall returned to her desk. As she turned away, James yanked the note from his sleeve and tossed it towards Sirius. He had scribble a new line under the original message.

_Padfoot,  
Try and catch your floating frog. I think we can make a good prank out of it.  
P.S. And I've got something we can use against McGonagall, if you're interested.  
Prongs.  
_  
Sirius looked up from the note towards James. A grin crossed his face.  
You know. The type of grin someone gets when revenge is near.  
Grabbing his quill, Sirius began a fast scrawl against the back of the parchment. The moment McGonagall looked back down towards her essays to-be-marked, he crumpled the note and threw it at James.

Prongsy darlin',  
You've caught my attention. What shall we do? Send McGonagall hot sauce-filled chocolates?  
P.S. Too late. If you'll look towards Peter, you'll see the demise of our dear froggy friend.  
Padfoot.

James frowned and searched the room for the frog. Sure enough, it was floating beside Peter's head-  
Before it blew up, showering the poor boy in frog guts.

-----

James looked at Sirius. Sirius looked at James.

Sirius coughed.

"So.. What have you for me today?"

James smirked, leaning back in the large comfy armchair by the Gryffindor common room fire. A small bag sat on the table before him, tied with a small rope. "One of my greatest inventions," he said, grabbing the bag. He slipped the rope off the end of the bag, upturned it, and-

A clump of mistletoe fell onto the table.

Sirius leaned back onto the couch, raising an eyebrow at James. "Mistletoe? That was already invented, wise guy. What do you want me to do, throw it at McGonagall?"

James sighed. "No. Think logically-"

"But-"

"Yes, you can think logically. Now, what do we do with mistletoe?"

"Stuff it up Snape's-"

"No. The OTHER thing we do with mistletoe."

Sirius nodded thoughtfully. "Right. We hang it up at Christmas as an excuse to kiss pretty girls." 

James smiled. "Exactly. But see here, I've done something fancy with this mistletoe. In fact, with a whole closet-full of mistletoe. See, here's the plan.." He leaned forwards slightly, so the studying students nearby wouldn't hear. "He hang them all over the school," he whispered. "You remember how frustrated McGonagall got last Christmas, what with all the giggling girls chasing after boys. All the students will catch the fever again."

Sirius blinked. "That's it?"

"No, of course that's not it." James glanced out of the corner of his eye for onlookers, then leaned even closer. "This mistletoe," he muttered, pointing at the one lying on the table, "won't let anyone get away from them until they kiss. It's physically impossible. Also, it will shout towards the kissers, drawing more people in to watch. And here's the best part," he said, lifting a finger. "I've got this on in special reserve for you-know-who." He grinned. "Pretty good, eh?"

"Not bad." Sirius admitted, eyeing the mistletoe. "Not bad at all."


	2. Of skirtlifting and mysterious figures

The corridors stood empty and silent. Not a sound, save for the flickering crackles of the torches along the walls, and..

The padding of feet?

"Shut up Padfoot! If someone were writing a story about us, your big feet would be the first thing they mention."

"My b-e-a-utiful feet may be the first thing they mention, but you'd be the first to talk."

"How about we all stop talking, as to not attract Prefect/professor attention?"

"..Shut up, Moony."

The four crept around another corner, moving along the long hallways like shadows or- in Sirius's case- elephants. James pressed a reassuring hand to his pocket. Sure enough, the enchanted mistletoe was still there. Step one of magnificent plan was beginning.

Peter stopped, looking out a large window. The grounds below were lit by the soft light of the crescent moon and the glow of the castle, illuminating a small moving figure.

"Who is that?" said Peter, half to himself. The others stopped, gazing out the window.

Remus frowned, squinting slightly. "It's hard to tell. Whoever it is has their hood up."  
Beside him, Sirius fidgeted, digging through his robe. He finally pulled out a small pair of omnioculars.

"..Padfoot?" James asked, lifting an eyebrow. "Why do you have omnioculars in your pocket?"

"Because, if you stand at the bottom of the staircases and look upwards at the girls in skirts-"

"Perhaps you can share another time?" said Remus, not much in the mood for theories of how to look up skirts. Not that he ever was, really. Taking the omnioculars from Sirius, he raised them to his eyes, zooming in on the mysterious figure by the lake.

"Who is it?"

"Still trying to guess, Padfoot."

"..How about-"

"No, Sirius."

"..C-"

"No, I cannot see them!" Remus handed the omnioculars to Sirius. "Try."

With a sigh, Sirius looked through the omnioculars. "You've got to be joking," he murmured, watching the figure with awe.

"What?" asked Peter. "You know who it is?"

"My god.."

"Sirius?" James poked his friend on the shoulder. "Padfoot, who is it!"

"That person.."

"WHAT!"

"..has Nike's."

The other three blinked. "Has what?" asked James, the word 'Nike' absolutely meaningless to him.

"Nike's. And pretty nice ones, too."

Remus frowned. "You build up all that excitement in Prongs, because of shoes?"

"They're nice shoes-"

"You pansy," James said as he grabbed the omnioculars from Sirius. "Come on. We have plots to put into action." Putting the device in his other pocket, he continued down the hall, the others following with last looks at the stranger.

"Why are you taking my omnioculars?"

"I want to try out that theory of yours."

"Ready?"

"To be perfectly frank, no. I still don't see why I, out of all of you, have to be on the  
bottom."

"Perfectly Longbottom? What the ruddy hell, Moony?"

"It's an expression, Sirius."

James crossed his arms and glared at the other three. "Are we doing this or not? There's a prefect on duty here in twenty minutes."

With a sigh, Remus kneeled onto the ground, spreading his hands infront of his shoulders like a human table. This is ridiculous, of course, as werewolves do not fit well as tables.

"Ready yourself, Moony! Here comes the truckload!"  
Remus groaned as Sirius stepped on top of him, feet pressing hard onto his back.

"Hurry," Remus urged, limbs shaking under Sirius' weight.

"What? Are you implying that I'm fat?"

"You have been taking an awful lot of second helpings," Peter piped up.

"I knew you were the one who stole my Shepard's pie!" cried James.

"Hurry," Remus said again. Sirius plus second helpings, plus Shepard's pie equals one very crushed Moony.

"Alright, alright." Sirius now kneeled on top of Remus in the same position. We now have, if you see it that way, two tables stacked upon each other.

"Wormtail!" Sirius called cheerily. "Gee up here!"

Biting his lip, Peter stepped in top of Sirius, who was on top of Remus. And mounted the same position. The three Marauder tables.

"Again, I can't say how much this hurts," said Remus quickly, "but I suggest you get on soon, James, before I bring the other two down with me."

Sirius gasped. "You wouldn't!"

"I'll bet you two Galleons he would," said James, climbing on top of the other three. With an unsteady wobble, James pulled the mistletoe from his pocket, attaching a small piece of spellotape around the top. He reached upwards, the mistletoe just inches from the ceiling..

James pulled out his wand, and with a well-rehearsed 'Wingardium Leviosa', levitated the mistletoe upwards until it stuck to the ceiling.

"James.. How could you have not done that on the ground?" asked Remus. "..Never mind, Prongs, you'd better get off quickly-"

"Hey!" cried Sirius. "A Knut!" Raising a hand, Sirius bent low towards Remus, stretching towards a bronze Knut on the ground..

"Sirius! Stop-"

And so came the end of the Marauder tables, due to Sirius' need for money. To be perfectly Longbottom- er, frank- the Knut was indeed fake, and absolutely worthless.  
And so the other three angry Marauders glared at Padfoot the entire long walk back to the common room, who received the look with a confused stare and a toss of his new fake Knut.

--------

Hogwarts was a school of chaos the next day. Girls giggled as they passed through the corridors, batting their long eyelashes at nearby boys- often Sirius- who returned the gesture by later looking up their skirts with his omnioculars. James often joined him in this.

Mistletoe had been hanging in nearly very corner of the school, for a very unlucky Filch to removed. Even more unlucky for him was the fact that they could not be removed.

To increase teacher stress, it seemed that everyone knew who put up the early decorations- the Marauders, of course (a no-brainer)- but had no proof so suggest they were the culprits.

"I've snogged four girls today," declared Sirius during lunch that day. "And I still have some good hours of daylight to continue. What about you, Prongs?"  
James poked his sausages lazily. "I've been trying to catch Lily the entire day, but I she insists that we wait until it's _actually_ Christmas. Something about ruining the spirit.."

"I'm not surprised," mumbled Sirius.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Remus looked up from the Daily Prophet. "If you're still interested in catching her, she's on her way."

James turned around, his eyes brightening at the sight of Lily Evans walking between the tables. Alone.

Without her friends.

Perfect for talking to.

And snogging with.

ALONE.

James sprang from his seat, standing in front of Lily. She stopped, folding her arms across her chest and giving him that I-don't-want-to-snog-you-yet-so-you-shouldn't-stand-infront-of-me-or-I'll-curse-your-arse-to-Timbuktoo kind of look. Or something like that.

"How are you today, Lily?" James asked, standing on the balls of his toes. He sent her that kind of I-swear-I'm-innocent-and-I-have-nothing-to-do-with-the-mistletoe-incident-but-I-entirely-agree-with-whatever-you-have-to-say-about-it-but-right-now-I-really-just-want-to-know-how-you-are-feeling-today-so-then-I-can-snog-you look.

"I'm fine," she replied oddly, looking him up and down. He was abnormally happy today. She noticed Sirius, Remus and Peter watching the two of them from the table. They hurriedly turned around, whistling innocently under her stare. "Is something wrong, James?"

James almost exploded with joy. She responded in a not-so-blaming manner. LILY RESPONDED in a CALM and COLLECTIVE manner.. And she probably knew he was the mistletoe culprit.

If joy felt like nausea, he was very joyous indeed.

"Only to bid you good day," he replied in as cool a voice as he could muster.

It seemed he was not very good at 'mustering'.

"Are you sure alright?" asked Lily. "You don't look- let alone sound- well."

Wordlessly, James pulled a long box from his pocket and handed it to Lily. It was wrapped in gold paper.

Looking confusedly from James to the box, she slowly peeled off the wrapping paper. Beneath lay a leather case.

She gasped at what lay inside.

A long necklace fill the box, a sterling silver chain neatly tied to a soft cushion. Upon the chain sat a lily, green stones lacing through its' leaves.

James, at the moment, was sweating to the point of drowning the Great Hall in salt water.

"It's beautiful," Lily whispered, running a finger along the lily.

"You like it?" James squeaked.

Lily smiled and looked at James, green eyes warm and bright. "I love it."

"Would you care to take a walk along the grounds?" James asked. The hot, stuffy hall was choking him to the point of suffocation on happiness.

"Sure. Around the mistletoes, if you don't mind." Lily smiled. The necklace was stunning; she would think about what 'reward' the Marauder could get. If no ideas came to mind.. there were plenty of mistletoe.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Since they're going out," he mumbled to Remus, "_you_, Moony, must help me with my pranks. They practice snogging too much."

Remus sighed.

James grinned, linking arms with Lily and leading her out of the castle.

If joy was a drug, James was so high.


	3. Vengance of the mistletoe

**Author's Note:** Hey! First, I'd just like to say thank you to all of my readers and reviewers. :D I luff you! Pats on the back for ye! And sorry this chapter took a while, I couldn't log on the past few days.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, or any items/names/characters, etc. If I did, Lily would be an animagus and Snape would **DIE.**

Lily bit her lip, her fingers itching for her wand. It would be so much _easier_..

James smiled and nudged her with his elbow, holding up a small, flat rock. "Here. I'll show you." He placed the rock into Lily's palm, his fingers entwined around hers. He curled her wrist gently, warm breaths of air pouring from his mouth onto Lily's ear.

She shivered.

Slowly, he pulled her arm back. "Just like this," he murmured. "Just shoot your arm forwards.."

Lily felt her shoulders droop in utter relaxation under James's voice and his grip. She watched the lake ahead of them with half-closed eyes, feeling the warm light of the setting sun upon her red hair.

Sure, skipping rocks seemed completely pointless. Maybe she only looked at it that way because she never learned as a child, always watching her sister, Petunia, and her boyfriend Vernon doing things she could never accomplish.

Like eating six hotdogs in ten minutes flat.

Now, however, it didn't matter how much time she wasted skipping the flat stones. As long as James was here, helping her, instructing her..

Pressing up against her..

_Oh god._

"You can do it, Lily."

Tightening her grip onto the rock, she took a small step forwards, performed some sort of strange throwing gesture-

The rock lifted from her grasp, seemingly vanishing from mid air. It certainly didn't skip along the lake, let alone go anywhere near it..

Then where-

She gasped and turned around at the sound of a dull _thunk _and a loud curse from James.

"Bloody-" James clutched his forehead, growling in pain. The rock lay by his feet.

"I'm sorry!" Lily cried. "It slipped! Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay," he said between cussing. "Doesn't this look like the type of man who is perfectly okay?"

Lily slowly peeled James's hands from his head, revealing a large bump. She giggled softly.

"How does it look?" he asked, trying to see the mark. Of course, the many people who have tried this know it is impossible to see their forehead.

Even Sirius, who had a terrible grudge against the fact for two days.

"Like a golf ball," Lily said with a laugh. The bump seemed to grow larger by the second.

James raised an eyebrow.

"Muggle thing," she replied, running a finger along the 'golf ball' glued to James's head.

"..Lily?"

"Yes?"

She looked down, finally having realized she continued to hold one of James's hands, after pulling them free from his forehead.. while the other hand had now settled from the bump to the back of his neck.

James gave her a I hope you didn't do this by accident look. She smiled wryly, sending him the Why would I ever do a thing like that? type of look.

James's eyes lowered to the lily necklace around her neck. It glimmered in the dim light like the few stars that began to crawl out from above.

They both moved at the same time, James wrapping his arms around Lily, Lily around him.

"I've liked you since the moment I saw you, up till now," said James softly, watching her green eyes happily.

Lily blinked in confusion. "Up till now?" Thoughts of him leaving her at this moment seemed terrible and.. well, unlikely.

He nodded, leaning closer towards her. "Because now I think I love you."

Lily felt hot tears gathering in her eyes. "I think I love you too," she whispered, gladly allowing James to pull her forwards and catch her in a long, deep and long-awaited kiss.

-------

"Marco."

"Polo."

"..Marco?"

"Polo."

"..Sirius! It's so easy if you just keep sniggering whenever I say 'Polo'!"

Sirius snorted with laughter at the mention of the name. "Polo," he mumbled.

Peter and sat down in the armchair by the common room fire, opening his eyes to send a brief glare to Sirius.

"It's not my fault!" he cried, raising his hands in defense. "You made me laugh!"

"It's a _name_, Sirius. What's so funny about Polo?"

He giggled again. "What kind of a muggle game is this, anyway? You're calling someone's name. What if we make it interesting?" Closing his eyes, he called, "Remus!"

"Lupin!" cried Peter.

Remus sighed, looking up from his book towards the two. "Really, you call this inter-"

"Remus!"

"Lupin!"

"Remus!"

"Lupin!"

"Remus!"

"Lupin!"

---approximately thirty-two minutes later..---

"Remus!"

"Lupin!"

"Re-"

Remus snapped, shutting his book. "Alright! How is this any different from Marco-"

Sirius giggled.

"-Polo?"

"Because we're using your name," Peter stated plainly. "Very different."

Just as Remus was about to speak, the portrait of the Fat Lady swung inward, allowing entrance to a very flustered- and red- James. He wandered over to the group, after tripping over several things (carpets, chairs, his own feet) and collapsed onto the couch.

"You okay, Prongs?" asked Peter.

Sirius leaned over him with an intent gaze. "Hmm.. This looks like Just Snogged Red Head syndrome. Is this true?"

James nodded, his mouth hanging open. He still seemed rather shocked by what had just happened.

Sirius waved a finger in front of James's eyes, who watched it wag back and forth. "Can you hear me?" asked Sirius clearly.

James nodded again.

"He might be in a bit of shock for the rest of the night," stated Sirius in a very official tone. "Give him some wizard crackers and a bottle of Butterbeer, and he'll be right as pain."

"Don't you mean rain?"

"Don't correct me, Moony."

"So," said Remus, leaning forwards slightly, "You caught up to Lily, I see."

A dopy smile crossed James's face.

"And I guess it's no use talking to you, seeing as you are now incapable of human intellect.."

"Was he ever?" Sirius joked.

The portrait swung open again to admit a very happy- and red- Lily. She stopped at the sight of the Marauders, letting herself ease into a smile as James turned around.

"Goodnight James," she muttered as she walked by, kissing him on the cheek as she passed, then leaving them through the girl's dormitory.

James let out an odd squeal and keeled over.

-------

"James and Lily, sitting in the Whomping Willow, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the speeding branch of the tree as it smacks the two flat!" Sirius grinned triumphantly. "Bet you didn't see that coming."

"To be perfectly honest, no," Remus confessed flatly. "James?" he called, watching the messy-haired boy ahead. "Where're you taking us, exactly?"

James gave a creepy laugh. The other three looked uneasily at one another. "Today," he declared, turning around and stopping, "we are witnessing the greatest moment known to mankind." He nodded, as if to say, Yes, you know what I'm talking about.

The others had no idea. And truth be told, they weren't so eager to know. Because when James gets that maniac look in his eye, something's haywire.. 

He sighed. "The McGonagall payback prank is in full swing. And now, all we have to do is watch." James started walking again, talking as he went. "I sent a messenger to bring Dumbledore into McGonagall's classroom.. Of course, our lovely trap mistletoe is hanging right near her door."

Remus froze. "Professor Dumbledore?" he squeaked. "Why did you get him, of all people, into this? Do you realize the trouble we'll get in?"

"Yeah!" cried Sirius. "Plus, I was thinking of using Snivellus. Or Peter."

"Hey!"

"Well, these two have had it coming," said James crossly, finally stopping by a corner, which turns into the corridor of their Transfiguration teacher's room.

James peeked around the corner. A few students stood the hallway, talking or trading chocolate frog cards. No one seemed to notice the mistletoe hanging on the ceiling four feet from McGonagall's classroom.

"Alright. Are you lot ready to witness the begin of the ultimate prank?"

"No," said Remus.

"Well, too bad! And it begins.. Right when I return from the loo." With a wink James strolled down the corridor they had come from, away from the waiting prank. With a nod, Peter joined him.

"Well."

"Remus?"

"Yes?"

"I think this is just about to get interesting."

Remus lifted an eyebrow questioningly, following Sirius' gaze down the mistletoe corridor, his eyes falling on..

Lily.

Right. Under. The mistletoe.

Both of their eyes widened in fear. "Unless we want Lily smooching Dumbledore," said Sirius, "I suggest we get her out of the way." He looked over at Remus. "Unless that sort of stuff turns you on?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "To be perfectly frank, n-"

"Here we go again. Have you got some fling with Longbottom?"

Before Remus could speak, a solo of merry whistling erupted from behind them.

Only Dumbledore would honestly whistle that loudly in the middle of the hall.

The two sprinted towards Lily, tripping over one another, calling for her attention. She gave them a confused look.

Remus reached her first.

It was then that he realized what a terrible mistake he had made.

_"Come on, Lovey-dovey, begin the snog-a-thon!"_

Students looked over to the pair, then towards the ceiling. The mistletoe bore a pair of gruesome teeth- or fangs, rather- that barked towards Lily and Remus.

_"Let's go, hut-to, kiss, kiss, kiss!"_

The two slowly looked down from the talking plant to each other.

This was all too very familiar.

"We don't have to," said Lily quickly. "We're just friends."

Remus nodded, glad that she saw it the situation the same way.

The two turned around, walking opposite directions.

If only fate were so kind.

An invisible force stuck to their feet like glue, holding them to the ground. The only way was backwards, towards each other, as they soon deciphered after several minutes of struggling. Even with Sirius pulling on his arms, Remus' legs would not pull free of the ground.

Remus and Lily turned towards one another, standing near one another so none of the nearby students, who watched intently, would overhear.

"I'm with James," said Lily quickly, nervously eyeing the people around. "And nothing's going to change that. You and I are friends, and it will never, _ever_ happen."

"I'm rather glad you said that first," said Remus, "because it's hard to talk at all with all of these people staring-"

_"Come on, lass and laddie! The day's not getting any younger, and neither am I!"_

_Mental note to self: Kill James the second he comes back from the lavatories_. 

They both sighed at the same time. "Remus!" Sirius hissed from behind. "Just get it over with, before James comes!"

Remus could feel the sweat beads dripping from his fingertips. The ground now seemed so much more interesting.. away from Lily's gaze. "I've- I've never-"

"Don't worry," said Lily. "Here-"

She leaned forwards, planting a small kiss on his cheek.

_"Call that a kiss? What are you, English? Get a little French in there!"_

Lily closed her eyes, clenching her fists. "Fine," she whispered. Raising again onto her toes, she grabbed Remus around the neck, giving the most tender kiss she could. She only had to believe he was James.

Finally breaking off, Lily couldn't help but feel annoyed at the whooping from the students. But truthfully..

_That wasn't so bad,_ Lily thought, restraining herself from cupping her hands around her ears as she thought it. _It was terrible! _she told herself.

It was pretty good.

Meanwhile, Remus stood in a state of utter shock. Yes, it was his first kiss. Yes, it was incredibly embarrassing with all the people nearby.

..Yes, that was James' fallen face in the crowd. That is, before he trudged through the crowd and out of sight.

Lily noticed this too, looking guiltily at Remus. "We'd better go talk to him. He doesn't know we didn't mean to."

Remus nodded. But that didn't keep him from knowing that James would never forgive him, not for all of the excuses in the world.


	4. Soaking up the anger

**Author's Note:** I'll tell you lot later where I got the story of this ;) . Meanwhile, enjoy the latest installment! Muwaha. Ha. Ha.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything in this chapter, nor any of my other chapters. Like I have that imagination. Pfft.

_Thunk._

"Seriously, Prongs, cut it out."

_Thunk._

"Prongs.."

_Thunk._

Sirius leaned forwards, placing a plush red pillow against the window before James's head could hit the glass pane again. "Really, it can only get so annoying. You've been hitting your head on the window the past hour."

"I don't care," said James roughly. "My head can burst open and spill out all of my brains, for all I- let alone anyone- will care."

Sirius struggled to refrain from asking, _What brains?_ Instead, he said, "I think I would care if your brains fell miserably outwards from your messy little head. Really, who would prank with me if you were gone?"

James felt his eyes subconsciously narrow. "I'm sure the happy little traitors would be glad to help."

_Here we go_, Sirius thought, preparing himself for the age long argument that would come next. "They're not traitors. You set the mistletoe."

"Yes, but they went under it."

"By _accident_."

"Or did they?"

Sirius sighed, propping his chin in the palms of his hands. "James, if Moony wanted to snog someone, it would never be Lily."

"Oh yeah?" James retorted. "And why not?"

"Because he doesn't want to snog _anyone?_"

"Yes he does," James grumbled, turning back to stare miserably out the frosted window. "And he had to choose Lily to do it. You know, I think he formed a conspiracy against me the first time Lily and I locked eyes." He spun around wildly to look at Sirius- who nearly fell backwards off his chair from the sudden movement. "Wasn't it suspicious, those two always being friends? _Wasn't it?_"

"No," Sirius said flatly.

James sent him a murderous glare. "Fine." He faced the grounds again.

"It was an accident, James."

"No, it wasn't. They're up to something. I can smell it."

When James wasn't looking, Sirius cautiously sniffed.

Seconds later, the portrait burst outwards, admitting Lily. She heaved a sigh as she saw James, finally having found him. He, on the other hand, only sat stiffly in his wooden chair, not giving her his usual drooling stare.

Lily moved over, standing a couple feet away from James. Sirius hesitated, then moved over to the couch, warming his hands on the fire while secretly listening.

"You know me and Remus didn't want to," Lily said quietly, fiddling with her sleeve. "It was that dam-"

"Lily," James cut in, "please. Just go."

Lily froze. "What?"

"Shut up and go."

Lily straightened, looking angrily at James, her green eyes blazing with fury. "God, you are such an idiot," she muttered under her breath.

"Actually, I thought I was more of a jerk." James turned around to look at Lily. "You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a…" He paused. "I can't think of a non-sexual metaphor."

"You should grow up!" Lily yelled, clenching her fists angrily.

"Yeah," replied James. "And dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen."

Sirius could only agree.

"I finally agreed to go out with you," Lily growled threateningly, "so now you have to act like even more of a prat?"

"It's part of the package," said James calmly. "You get different moods depending on what you do. Kind of like those cereal box prizes. Snogging my friend, for example, can make one slightly angry."

Lily crossed her arms. "You're like an eight year old boy with a puzzle that's just a little too grown up for him to figure out," she said before stalking off, vanishing back out the portrait.

"Even I have to admit," said Sirius after a brief pause, "I'm not liking you much now."

"Words hurt, you know."

----------

"..Remus?"

Remus lifted his head, looking cautiously around the library from behind his book. He vanished behind the paperback cover before the name-caller could spot him.

Ten seconds later, the book was lifted from his hands by a very confused Peter. "Lily is trying to find you, Moony," he said slowly, as if trying to digest the words himself and figure out what the two were up two.

"Okay." Remus pulled the book back and hid behind it once again.

"..Did you hear me?"

"Yes Peter."

"Are you going to meet with Lily?"

"No Peter."

Peter sighed, sitting beside Remus, resting his elbows on the surface of the cool wooden table. He quickly put his hands on his lap instead, the chilled wood paining his arms. The library was freezing, but that never kept Remus out.

"Why don't you go sort this out with James?" Peter asked after a long silence.

Remus was about to tell Peter he was trying to focus on reading, but it occurred to him that the words were simply floating around his brain like lost balloons. They always popped before he could catch their meaning. "Because," he said finally, abandoning the thought that Peter might leave him, "The moment I take a look at Lily, let alone stand in the same corridor as her, James will be there to toss me out the window." He glanced at Peter. "You know he would do that, too."

Peter bit his lip. "Yeah.. probably." He heaved a big sigh and nudged Remus. "Come on! You're always giving me advice. Why should mine be useless?"

"Because me advice is useless, too," Remus said. "It's always, 'I wouldn't do that if I were you, James', 'I don't think Doxy's like being disturbed', or 'Why don't we run away from the teachers after setting multiple firecrackers off in the hallway?'. Not that my advice is ever taken."

Peter knew better than to argue- which was a first. "Well.. Just talk to James or Lily. You can't avoid them both forever."

"Why not?"

"You still have a whole half a year left."

_Is that it?_

----------

Lily put her hands on top of her head as she walked, running slim fingers through her shiny sheet of red hair. _How, oh how could this happen?_ She stopped suddenly, noticing who stood at the end of the hallway.

"Hello," said stiffly as she crossed her arms, not in the mood to talk to Serverus Snape.

He only blinked. "I heard about you and James," he said finally. Was it just Lily, or did his voice sound less.. cruel?

"Come here to point and call, too?" she snapped. Plenty of students had tagged her after the 'incident', asking if they had broken up and if Lily was available again. Repeatedly saying, 'I don't know' to countless people grew tiresome.

"No." Snape's eyes narrowed to their usual hard appearance. "Not like I'd be bothered to stand ten feet near your blood."

_Here we go again. _Lily continued forward, making sure to collide shoulders with Snape as she passed by- hard. She almost regretted doing it after.

"..I'm sorry."

Lily froze. Did Snape just say.. sorry? She turned, eyeing him. "What?"

Wordlessly, he stepped forwards, handing her a thin box. "Sorry," he said quietly, before turning and leaving in the opposite direction, careful to avoid eye contact.

"Lily?"

Startled, Lily spun on the spot. Remus stood by the corner, hands dug deeply into his frayed jacket pockets.

"Hi," she said, breathing in relief and out nervousness. "I've been looking for you."

Remus eyed the box in her hand but made no comment. "Something wrong?" he asked, surprised at the flustered expression she wore.

"Actually.." Lily stepped forwards, biting the inside of her cheek. "I.. need a favour."

"To do with James, right?"

Lily winced. "Er.. yes."

Remus sighed and leaned against the wall. He looked terribly drained. "I don't know, Lily," he said heavily. "Convincing James to believe us will-"

"I'm not trying to tell him we didn't mean to."

Remus tilted his head. "You're not?"

"No." Lily fiddled with the tip of a long strand of hair. "I know we can't convince him. So I was thinking of trying something that will get through his arrogant head."

"And..?"

"I think maybe we should stop talking to each other."

Remus's mind went blank. "What?" he asked, though he heard her clearly.

Lily sighed. "I don't mean to be rude, but.. Maybe I should hang out with you three.. except for James."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "You mean like taking us away from him?"

She shrugged. "Sort of, yes."

"I can't imagine that making it any better."

"Can you 'imagine' anything else?"

Remus looked solemnly out the window. "No," he said quietly. He glanced out the window nearby, spotting the pale moon swimming along the sea of diamond stars. He shuddered, noticing how close it was until full moon, and how far he was from James.


End file.
